


Olly Olly Oxen Free

by Keep_Calm_And_Expecto_Patronum



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday Party, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Hide and Seek, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26771548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keep_Calm_And_Expecto_Patronum/pseuds/Keep_Calm_And_Expecto_Patronum
Summary: It’s three months after the Clash of Avengers and everyone’s managed to make amends. Mostly. More importantly, it’s Cassie Lang’s nineth birthday, and Scott Lang has enlisted the Avengers to attend his daughter’s birthday party—in uniform, no less. Considering Steve and Tony were responsible for getting Scott locked up in The Raft, it’s the least that they could do.**Written for the Pen15 is Mightier: Prompt Exchange 2020**
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12
Collections: Pen15 is Mightier Prompt Exchange 2020





	Olly Olly Oxen Free

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>    
> Person A is hiding because they don't want to be found.
> 
> So is Person B.
> 
> The "not being found" part probably would have worked out better if they hadn't picked the same hiding place.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> The who, what, where:  
> .  
> Hoping for a fluffy, maybe smutty, maybe very smutty "I'm annoyed to find you here but also attracted to you" prickly bantery healing sort of story. I put in a few fandom and relationship/character ideas, but honestly do whatever moves you as long as Severus Snape isn't one of the romantic leads...  
> .  
> Preferred fandoms Harry Potter (including Marauders or Grindeldore), Marvel, Star Wars sequel trilogy, Sherlock (TV), Witcher (TV), Game of Thrones, Disney, Buffy, Indiana Jones just because those are the ones I'd know what's going on :) AUs delightful esp for Star Wars and GOT. Would love a T+ rating at least for some heat, but happy with as explicit as you want.  
> .  
> Please no incest or gaps too big in generations (i.e. wands up for Lucius + Hermione but Lucius + Albus Severus would be a wands down).

The sound of children screaming and laughing drifted over the high wooden fence from the backyard as Steve and Bucky walked up the driveway towards the Paxton residence. As they climbed the steps of the porch, Bucky looked around at the picture-perfect house and neighborhood with a surly expression.

“I still don’t get why I’m here,” he grumbled, head bowed with his right fist stuffed into the pocket of his black bomber jacket. “It’s not like I’m an Avenger.”

“Not officially, no. You’re like our mascot.” Bucky shot Steve an incredulous look, so he relented. “I’d really appreciate the company, alright? I have the feeling it’s gonna be a long day.”

“I’m not exactly what you call kid-friendly,” Bucky warned.

“Kids love you,” Steve lied, giving the front door a polite but firm knock.

They stood shoulder to shoulder in silence as they waited for somebody to answer. Bucky absentmindedly scratched his left shoulder, glancing at the empty space where his arm used to be before turning back to face the front door with a stern expression. Steve, meanwhile, shifted from his right foot to his left, let out a sigh of frustration, and readjusted the rear of his pants, the tight leather creaking as he did so. Bucky gave Steve a sideways glance and smirked.

“Problems?”

“Nothing that I can’t handle,” Steve replied before muttering under his breath. “Damn wedgies. I’ve always hated this suit.”

“Why are you wearing it then?”

“Because even though carbon polymer is a _lot_ more comfortable, the kids will no doubt expect to see me in the old red, white and blue outfit,” he explained.

“Should I have dressed up as Hitler so that you could knock me out in front of the kids? Just like the good ol’ days?” Bucky joked.

“Definitely not.” The door swung open then and the pair were greeted with a slim, blonde woman wearing a paper party hat and a flustered expression. Steve and Bucky fixed smiles onto their faces and greeted her in unison, “Afternoon, ma’am.”

Maggie Lang grinned when she instantly recognized her special guest. “Wow, you actually made it!” She eyed Steve’s outfit approvingly. _“Love_ the costume, by the way.”

“Actually, it’s a uniform,” he corrected her, but she took no notice. Instead, she shifted her focus onto Bucky, who in his bomber jacket and cargo pants looked decidedly out of place next to America’s first celebrated superhero. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I recognize you. Are you a superhero, too?”

“No, ma’am,” he replied quickly.

“He’s actually my sidekick,” Steve teased, earning him a sharp look from Bucky. “This is James Buchanan Barnes.”

A flicker of recognition flitted across her face but she was quick to smother it. “Oh! Well, then it’s lovely to have you here, James.”

“Just call me Bucky.”

“Bucky.” She glanced past Steve’s shoulder with a slight frown. “I thought Falcon was supposed to be coming with you?”

“He’s on his way,” Steve assured her. “He’ll be making more of a dramatic entrance than us.”

“Oh, how exciting! And would you look at that, you brought presents, too! You shouldn’t have…”

“Where is the birthday girl?” asked Steve.

“Cassie’s out in the backyard with the other kids.” Maggie took the large gift adorned with unicorn wrapping paper from Steve’s outstretched hands before stepping aside for them. “Thor and Spiderman are already here. Please, come in! Wipe your feet…”

Once they had wiped the soles of their boots on the doormat, they followed Maggie through the house in the direction of the backyard. Bucky looked around the brightly lit and welcoming home with wide eyes.

“Man, this place is a far cry from the crappy little apartment we had in Brooklyn,” he whispered and Steve chuckled.

“Yeah, I bet this place has central heating, for starters.”

Maggie ushered them through the kitchen and into the backyard where the birthday party was in full swing: paper lanterns and streamers of every color adorned the trees and fences around the sizable yard. A giant web (no doubt Peter Parker’s doing), which several children were currently jumping up and down on like a trampoline, had been spun over the swimming pool. Peter, meanwhile, was being chased back and forth across the yard by a group of partygoers, all firing water pistols at one another. Bucky nudged Steve’s shoulder and pointed towards Thor, who was proudly showing off Mjölnir to several onlookers before demonstrating its power by pulverizing a piñata with one swing.

“Everyone, Captain America is here!” Maggie cried. “With his sidekick, Bucky!”

Bucky muttered irritably at the introduction. The reaction of the partygoers was annoyingly predictable: everyone gasped and spun around to take a good look at Steve, their mouths hanging open with shock and awe. Steve felt that familiar twinge of embarrassment when people looked at him like he was a zoo animal on display, but he had agreed to come here as a favor to Scott, so rather than turning tail and running out of the house down the street, he fixed a grin to his face and gave everyone a small wave.

“Hello.”

Steve’s smile fell as a stampede of screaming children sprinted towards him. One child with flyaway brown hair actually leaped into the air and threw herself around his waist like a spider monkey, knocking the air out of his lungs in the process. Steve let out an ‘oof’ and bent over double and several more children quickly piled on top of him like they would at a football match. Steve’s legs buckled under the weight of so many bodies, and he cried out helplessly for assistance. While this was happening, Bucky—Steve’s trusted sidekick—took the opportunity to slip away unnoticed by everyone else, probably to get a drink.

“Bucky!” he choked. “Get back here and help me!”

But Bucky had already disappeared. _Damn him and his sneaky assassin skills,_ Steve thought irritably. He tried calling out for help but his voice was lost in a sea of excited children squealing his name and clambering all over him like he was a human jungle gym. Thankfully, Scott Lang and Maggie came to his rescue and began pulling the children off of him.

“Alright, that’s enough! Let Captain America go, please,” Scott cried. When they had finally managed to disperse the children, Steve was lying spread-eagle on the grass, but a little brunette girl was still hugging him tightly, refusing to let go. Scott sighed and tried to prise her free from Steve’s waist. “Cassie, release the Captain.”

Cassie giggled and shook her head. “I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s _cuddly,”_ she squealed.

Steve had been called a lot of things, but in all his years, he’d never been described as cuddly. With the promise that she could have her picture taken with him, Scott and Maggie finally managed to convince their daughter to release Steve from her vice-like grip. Satisfied after she had taken a couple of selfies with him, Cassie took off at top speed across the yard closely followed by (and Steve couldn’t quite believe his eyes) a giant ant. After checking that Steve wasn’t injured, Maggie hurried away to stop a couple of kids fighting over an inflatable replica of Thor’s hammer, leaving Scott and Steve a brief moment on their own.

“Sorry about that,” said Scott heartily, patting Steve on the shoulder. “We made the mistake of letting her have Baskin Robbins for breakfast, she’s been on a sugar high all day.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve groused, massaging his ribs. “I remember me and Bucky when we were that age, we could get pretty rough with each other at times.”

“You know,” Scott lowered his voice and leaned a little closer so that only Steve could hear him. “I just wanted to thank you again for doing this. I really appreciate it.”

“Not a problem,” Steve assured him.

“Seriously, you’re saving my life here, man! Maggie and Jim have gone all out for Cassie’s birthday this year. I mean, I know that it’s not a competition for our daughter’s affections, but I was beginning to worry about what gift I’d get her this year. So getting you guys here...wow.”

Steve could only manage a strained smile and patted him on the back. “It’s really no trouble.”

“I mean, considering you and Tony are responsible for getting me locked up again, you did kind of owe me one,” Scott added, chuckling to himself. “Who’d have thought that would have played to my advantage, eh?”

Steve pursed his lips but said nothing. He did feel incredibly guilty about Scott being incarcerated after the Clash of Avengers at Leipzig-Halle Airport. It was made all the worse when he realized that Scott had a young daughter waiting for him at home, and he had been partly responsible for her daddy not returning from his ‘work trip’ that day. Tony must have felt pretty torn up about it too; using his endless resources, he managed to secure Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott’s freedom from The Raft.

More than that, he’d somehow managed to scrub Bucky’s files from ICC, Interpol, and the CIA’s most wanted lists. When Steve had heard what Tony had done, he couldn’t quite believe it. Only three months had passed since the Clash of Avengers had occurred, but for the most part, it seemed that everyone had managed to put their differences aside and make amends.

Mostly.

Tony and Bucky would never see eye to eye, but it seemed that with time Tony had come to realize that James Buchanan Barnes and The Winter Soldier were not one and the same. And so, it looked like everyone was given the chance to start afresh, even Scott and Bucky. So long as Bucky kept his head down and out of trouble, he was no longer a person of interest to any policing organization.

Thinking about Tony made Steve’s stomach twist unpleasantly, so he swiftly pushed that feeling aside and changed the subject. “I brought Bucky with me like you asked, but you didn’t say why you wanted me to bring him along in the first place.”

Scott took a swig from his beer before answering, “I wanted him to meet someone.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “To meet someone? You mean, like a girl?”

Scott pulled a face. “What? No! Who arranges hook-ups at their kid’s birthday party?”

“Well, why else would you invite him here?” Steve shot back, then his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “You’re wanting him to go on a job with you, aren’t you?”

Scott scoffed. “Hell no! I’m on the straight and narrow from now on. Well, unless you need me to go and beat up some more Avengers, then I’m your guy.”

“I don’t plan on letting something like that happen ever again,” said Steve firmly.

“Captain Steven Rogers!”

Steve and Scott turned to see Thor grinning and waving excitedly at them, as though they would have any trouble seeing all six foot and three inches of him in his billowing red cape and armor amongst the children. As Thor hurried towards them, Steve leaned closer to Scott and said, “I didn’t realize that you knew Thor.”

“I don’t,” Scott admitted. “I’ve never even met the guy before.”

“Then why did you invite him to the party?”

“I didn’t. He just showed up!”

“Steve Rogers! My old friend!” Thor boomed. He pulled Steve into a tight hug, lifted him off his feet, and spun them around in a circle before releasing him. “How do you fare?”

Steve nodded vigorously. “Good. Good, thanks. Um, how about you? It’s been a while.”

“Indeed! I’ve been on vacation since our last battle,” he explained. “I’ve been learning more about you humans and your strange customs: apparently, it is not, in fact, customary to smash your dinnerware after every meal. You should have told me that before I destroyed Miss Potts’s sizable collection of fine china after our victory feast in New York City.”

Steve laughed. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Well, you know, half the city was smashed to pieces, it didn’t seem like adding a few plates to the pile would have made much of a difference at that point.”

Thor’s smile became a little strained. “I must admit that I was disappointed that you did not invite me to fight with you and the other Avengers in Germany.”

“Oh.” Steve cleared his throat and shrugged. “To be honest, you didn’t miss much.”

“Oh no, nothing at all. Just the disbanding of the Avengers!” Thor laughed a little hysterically. “Of course, being an Avenger myself, it isn’t like my being there would have been of any great importance!”

“It wasn’t like that,” Steve argued lamely. “There were a lot of mitigating factors at play—”

“It wouldn’t have taken much effort to pick up the phone and call me,” he grumbled. “You managed to call Insect Man, here, easily enough.”

“Ant-Man,” Scott corrected him quietly. “The name’s Ant-Man…”

“You’re right, Thor, I’m sorry,” said Steve. “I should have called and clued you in on what was happening.”

Thor shook his head and patted Steve on the shoulder. “It’s quite alright! All water under the bridge, as you humans like to say. If you must know, I actually started my _own_ team—Team Thor. Me and my dear friend, Darryl, have been on many adventures and battles together. He actually enjoys listening to my legendary tales. He also appreciates my friendship, unlike some people…”

“The team is back together now,” Steve reassured him.

Thor froze. “They are?”

Steve nodded.

“So, the conflict between you and Tony Stark has been resolved?” he asked hopefully.

“Uh...sure,” Steve lied. “Everything’s fine now.”

“Well, this is _wonderful_ news!” Thor cried, looking visibly relieved. “This is a cause for celebration! I shall return post-haste with more mead and something for us to kill in thanks.”

“Uh, maybe another time,” Scott cut in with a note of panic in his voice. “It’s uh...not _traditional_ to drink mead and perform animal sacrifices at children’s birthday parties.”

“It isn’t?” asked Thor with genuine surprise. “You humans and your strange customs. Very well, then, a small gladiatorial battle to appease the crowds shall have to suffice.” He pulled out his cell phone and pressed it to his ear as he began to walk away, “I’ll see how long it will take Darryl to get here. Shall I ask him to bring maces or spears? Hmm, it’s probably better to err on the side of caution and have him bring both. Please, excuse me.”

“He was joking, right?” Scott asked as soon as Thor was out of earshot. “Please, tell me he was joking.”

Steve wasn’t keen to answer that, but as luck would have it, that was the moment that Sam Wilson chose to make his grand entrance. Several of the partygoers gasped and pointed at the sky as a large, bird-like figure dipped below the clouds and glided towards them. Moments later, Sam landed as gracefully as his namesake in the center of the yard and was soon swarmed with children in much the same way Steve had been. Their little hands reached out to poke and prod at the delicate metallic wings on his suit, but Sam seemed more than happy to accommodate them, smiling and answering all of their questions. The crowd only dispersed once Maggie announced that the buffet was open, so Sam took the opportunity to break away from the crowd to greet Steve and Scott.

“Hey, man, how’re you doing?” Sam shook Scott’s hand and pulled Steve into a quick hug. When he pulled back, he looked Steve up and down and grinned. “Love the costume, man.”

“It’s a uniform,” he insisted.

“I see Thor’s turned up to the party,” said Sam, turning to Scott. “I didn’t realize you knew him.”

“I don’t!” he cried. “I don’t even know how he found out where I lived.”

“Well, it looks like he and Cassie are getting on like a house on fire,” Steve mused, nodding towards the pair. Scott spat out his beer at the sight of them; the huge Asgardian was presenting Cassie with a sword taller than she was, adorned with a large, purple bow fastened to its hilt, and a round shield. The little girl squealed with excitement and the two began to play fight, sword and hammer clinking against one another with each strike.

“Not cool, man. Not cool!” Scott rambled, hurrying towards the pair to break up the fight.

“Man, to be that age again,” Sam chuckled. “Doesn’t coming to parties like this make you want to be a kid again?”

“It makes me glad that I don’t have any,” Steve quipped before adding, on a more serious note, “The world is full of dangers, the likes of which we couldn’t even imagine when I was a kid. Now, we’ve got a whole _universe_ of dangers to contend with. I’m not brave enough to bring a kid into this world.”

“When’s the world _not_ been a scary place?” Sam countered. “All things considered, I think you’d make a good dad. Don’t rule it out just yet.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” he replied confidently. “I’ve got brains to match these looks, you know.”

“And humble, too!” Steve joked.

Sam laughed and threw his arm around Steve’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go grab a drink.”

With their sodas in hand, Sam and Steve wandered over to the swing set to sit and enjoy their drinks in peace. They chatted and watched the party from the quiet end of the yard, laughing when Scott tried (and failed) to lift Mjölnir when challenged by Thor. But just as Steve was beginning to relax and enjoy himself, he felt the tension grip his body again when he spotted a familiar face in the crowd.

“What’s he doing here?” he blurted out.

Sam tried to follow Steve’s line of sight. “Who?”

“Happy.”

“Who’s Happy?”

“The guy with the goatee from The Darkest Timeline talking to Spiderboy at the buffet,” Bucky chipped in.

His sudden appearance made Steve jump slightly with surprise. He wished that Bucky would stop sneaking up on him like that. Old habits die hard, he supposed. Steve twisted his swing seat around to see Bucky standing over his shoulder holding a paper plate laden with food.

“Where’d you disappear to when I needed your help?” he asked accusingly.

Bucky raised a plate full of snacks by way of explanation. “Got hungry.” He sat down cross-legged on the grass beside Steve, balancing the plate on the end of his knee so that he could use his right hand to eat.

“What are you doing here?” asked Sam with a similar tone of accusation.

Bucky shrugged. “Got invited.”

“How the hell did you get an invitation to a kid’s birthday party?”

“Damned if I know,” Bucky proceeded to shove a handful of potato chips into his mouth, earning him a look of disgust from Sam.

“If Happy’s here, does that mean Tony’s coming, too?” Steve wondered aloud, his attention already returned to more serious matters at hand.

Sam shook his head at Bucky’s disgusting table manners before turning his attention back to Steve. “Is it a problem if he is?”

“No,” Steve replied quickly. “Why would it be?”

Sam cocked an eyebrow at Steve’s blatant lie and turned to Bucky for an explanation. Much to Steve’s mounting irritation, Bucky seemed all too happy to provide one. “He’s worried in case Tony shows up. He wasn’t gonna come to the party but after I got an invite, he said he’d go so long as I was there as his backup.”

“Bucky!” Steve cried.

“What, was I not supposed to tell him that?” he asked. “Whoops. My bad.”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “You brought Barnes here as backup? I thought that I was your wingman.”

“You are. And I’m not worried if Tony shows up,” Steve protested before mumbling, “I’d just rather he didn’t.”

“I thought that you two had buried the hatchet?” asked Sam curiously.

“We did,” Steve insisted.

Sam looks at Bucky again. “Did they have another falling out?”

“I’m right here, you know,” Steve replied irritably. “And I can speak for myself.”

“All I know is that they came to an agreement that meant my remaining arm shall remain intact,” Bucky replied evasively before changing the subject entirely. “I dunno if you’ve noticed, but that kid over there wants to talk to you.”

He nodded towards a small, nervous-looking girl who was hovering beside the jungle gym watching the three men talk. Steve quirked a smile when he noticed that she was clutching a Falcon action figure.

Sam looked over at the little girl, who seemed to shrink under his gaze. “She wants to talk to _me?”_

Bucky nodded. “She’s just too nervous to come and speak to you.”

Sam cocked his eyebrow at him. “Is that your super assassin senses telling you that?”

“Nah, I’m just more observant than you are,” he quipped before popping a miniature quiche into his mouth and chewing it slowly.

Sam huffed out a laugh before excusing himself and approaching the girl, whose eyes lit up with excitement when he knelt down on one knee to shake her hand.

“Thanks for deflecting attention away from me,” said Steve. “I trust Sam, but there’s just some subjects that I don’t feel comfortable discussing with him.”

“No problem,” Bucky mumbled, his mouth still full of food. He lifted the party plate up to Steve. “Want some?” When Steve declined, Bucky stuffed a mozzarella stick into his mouth before speaking again, “If you’re so worried about bumping into Tony, you could always leave before he shows up.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“It’s bad manners.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across Bucky’s lips then. _“Bad manners_...that’s one of the things that I admire most about you: despite everything, you’re still that same kid from Brooklyn at heart—a do-gooder punk who'll go above and beyond to help anyone, even if it means putting yourself out. It's _annoyingly_ admirable."

“You'd rather I didn't help others?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. It’s comforting how little you’ve changed. It gives me hope that a little something of the old me can be salvaged, too.”

Steve felt a pang of sadness at that admission. Neither of their lives had been easy or straightforward, but Bucky’s had been more difficult than most. This world, these people, themselves...all of this domesticity was still incredibly foreign to them. Steve had many moments when he wasn’t sure that any of the ‘old Steve’ had survived his time in the ice, but it was heartening to hear that Bucky thought there had.

“Well, you’re still the same jerk who’s too honest for his own good at times,” he teased, tapping Bucky affectionately on the knee with his foot. Bucky was a lot of other things: resilient. Loyal. Brave. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“Stop, you’ll make me blush,” Bucky drawled.

Steve’s smile quickly fell when he heard the sound of heavy metal music playing in the distance. He wasn’t the only one to notice it, either; as the music grew louder, more partygoers searched the skies for the source of the noise, hands shielding their eyes against the glaring sunlight. Finally, someone screamed, “There he is!” and pointed at a red blip in the sky, easy to spot against the sea of blue, and everyone began to clap and cheer. As Tony Stark zoomed closer, rather than land in the backyard, he soared past their heads giving the spectators a thumbs up before releasing several rockets from his suit. Everyone ‘oohed and ‘aahed’ as the rockets exploded in an array of colors. Even Steve, despite trying his best to look unaffected by the display, couldn’t help but be impressed. A fact not lost on Bucky, it seemed.

“You always were a sucker for the Fourth of July fireworks,” he noted with a sly smile.

Steve ignored the insinuation and watched as Tony finally landed in the center of the yard, disappearing behind a wall of partygoers desperate to greet him. Tony’s face would occasionally pop in and out of view, and although Steve couldn’t hear him from this distance, he could easily imagine him putting on the usual Tony Stark charm, wisecracking with his fans and posing for pictures like he was one of the goddamn Kennedys. All that was missing was a photo op with a chubby-faced baby. That was the moment that Tony caught sight of Steve. They kept their gazes fixed on each other, even as Happy chattered in Tony’s ear. He winked at Steve before turning his attention to a young fan, flipping a peace sign as the two posed for a selfie together.

“You know, instead of sitting over here sulking, you could just go and talk to him,” Bucky suggested, but Steve shook his head.

“Tony can talk ‘til the cows come home, but he’s never been one for listening,” he argued. “There wouldn’t be any point.”

“He listened to you about me,” Bucky pointed out.

“I thought that you were on my side,” Steve complained.

“I am.” Bucky stuffed another miniature quiche into his mouth. “But you’re also your own worst enemy. I’m just trying to help. I am your sidekick, after all.”

“Very funny, Buck,” he muttered.

“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt…” Steve and Bucky looked up to see Scott approach, followed by a Latino man with a toothy grin plastered across his face. “This is my friend, Luis. Luis, this is Steve Rogers—obviously—and this is the guy I was telling you about, Bucky.”

Luis stepped towards Bucky, who was still sitting on the grass eating his lunch, and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, bro.”

Bucky frowned, unaccustomed to such a friendly greeting. Wiping the crumbs from his hand on his cargo pants, he took Luis’s into his own and shook it. “Hey.”

“Luis and I were wondering if we could ask a small favor of you,” said Scott.

“Okay…”

“See, it’s like this,” Luis began. “So, I'm at this restaurant in Midtown called _Le Bernardin_ with my cousin Miguel, right? And there was like, this lobster, man. But you know me, I’m here like a striped bass tartare kind of guy, right? But there was this one dish with charred scallions smothered in sea urchin sauce that was _sublime,_ bro! Oh my God!”

Scott nudged his friend. “Luis.”

“Right. Sorry. But anyway, anyway, it’s like this—Miguel, he tells me: ‘Yo, you know how your homie Scotty’s gone and trashed that airport with Captain America and the Tin Man?’”

“Tin Man?” Bucky asked.

“He means Tony,” Scott explained. “Go on, Luis.”

“Okay okay. Anyway, Miguel tells me that this crazy fine vlogger chick that he met online, like fine, _fine,_ crazy stupid fine, turns out they’re both members of the Amateur Astronomers Association. So they’re down at The High Line taking in the celestial sights when she tells Miguel: ‘Yo, I know a guy who knows a guy that got footage of Cap here and this _other_ dude with a metal arm gettin’ the jump on Tin Man.’ And Miguel is like: ‘For real?’, and she’s like: ‘Yeah. I got mad connects with the peeps behind the curtains, you know what I’m saying?’”

“Not really,” Steve admitted.

“And this guy with the metal arm, he’s got, like, bomb moves, right? That was you, right?” he asked, but before Bucky could reply, he continued, “So he’s pulling some badass Mortal Kombat moves, but then _boom,_ Tin Man blows his metal arm clean off with one shot! And I’m like: _‘Daammn!_ That’s some dark DC universe turn of events—’”

“Luis, we talked about this,” Scott groaned.

Luis nodded vigorously. “No problem, bro. Just the facts. Only the facts.”

“Breathe,” Scott instructed. “Focus. Keep it simple.”

"No, no, no. No doubt, no doubt. Okay. So, Miguel says: ‘Yo, my homie, Francisco, he got a kid cousin who’s wanted to be a superhero since, like, forever, man. But this kid, he got into an accident last summer, and now he don’t think that he’s superhero material no more.’ And I was like: ‘Nah, man, say it ain’t so!’ But he did. So, when I told Carlos—”

“Wait, who’s Carlos?” Scott asked.

“Carlos!” Luis exclaimed. “Marco’s girlfriend’s brother.”

Recognition flashed across Scott’s face. “Oh, _that_ Carlos. Sorry, carry on.”

“Anyway, when I told Carlos about the party, and that Scotty said that Captain America was gonna be here, he told Franscisco about it, who asked Miguel to ask me to ask Scotty to ask you”—Luis pointed at Steve—“to bring your friend”—then nodded at Bucky—“along to meet him.”

“To meet who?” asked Steve, completely bamboozled.

“To meet Antonio, man,” Luis chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Here he comes now. Over here, Antonio!”

Bucky’s eyes widened with shock as a young boy on crutches hobbled over to join them. Steve figured the crutches must be new because the kid struggled to come to a full stop when he reached them, swaying slightly from side to side on his one remaining leg. He looked shyly between Steve and Bucky.

“Hi.” Despite the difficulty in keeping his balance, he thrust out his hand to Steve. “I’m—”

“Antonio,” Steve said, taking the boy’s hand and shaking it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, son. Luis here was telling us that you fancy yourself a superhero.”

Antonio blushed. “Well, I did. Before...you know.” He glanced down at the empty space where his leg used to be and shrugged. “Can’t be a superhero with one leg, can I?”

“Who says that you can’t?” Bucky spoke up then, which surprised Steve. “I mean, before Steve became Captain America, he had a list of things wrong with him as long as my arm. Well, the one I’ve still got anyway.”

“It’s true,” Steve confirmed. “When I was your age, I had asthma, scoliosis, heart palpitations, color blindness...I was even partially deaf. And that’s just for starters.”

“Yeah, well, you had all your limbs, didn’t you?” Antonio shot back.

Steve opened his mouth to argue but shut it again, thinking better of it. The kid was right: Erskine’s super-soldier serum could fix a lot of things, but even that couldn’t grow back a missing limb. He looked at Bucky and a thought struck him then. “You know, Bucky here’s a superhero.”

Antonio frowned. “Really?”

“Really?” Bucky parroted.

“Sure he is,” Steve smiled at Bucky. “He’s my sidekick. Has been since we were kids.”

Antonio didn’t look convinced. “If you’re really a superhero, how come I’ve never heard of you?”

“I’m retired,” Bucky grumbled.

“Bucky’s saved my life more times than I can remember,” Steve pressed. “And that was without magic or super serums or metal limbs. It’s not who’s the biggest or strongest that makes a hero. It’s being a good person and being someone that others can look up to.”

Bucky screwed his face up with embarrassment at Steve’s praising words, but Antonio looked intrigued. “Are you really a superhero?”

Bucky sighed. “I guess...sure. Yeah, I suppose I am.”

He didn’t sound at all certain but Anthony’s eyes lit up with interest. “Cool. Did a super villain take your arm?”

“No.” Discarding his plate of party food on the grass, Bucky hopped to his feet and motioned for Antonio to follow. “Come on. I’ll teach you some superhero fighting moves if you like.”

Antonio didn’t need any convincing. Moving as quickly as he could, he followed Bucky across the yard to find a quiet spot to practice. “But how can I fight with my crutches?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bucky assured him. “They’ll come in handy.”

Steve waited until the pair were out of earshot before he turned back to Scott and Luis. “This is why you wanted me to bring Bucky?”

Scott shrugged. “I figured the meeting could be mutually beneficial for both parties.”

Steve watched Bucky chatting to Antonio and smiled. Bucky had spent so long struggling to find a way to reconnect with the world—this could be just what he needed to do that. As the afternoon wore on, Steve spent his time engaging in polite conversation with the other guests and posing for selfies with the kids. Back in his day, an autograph more than sufficed. Now, he was expected to smile until the muscles in his face ached and answer the same questions until he was blue in the face (No, he didn’t actually punch Hitler in the face. Yes, he really was born on the fourth of July. And no, he wasn’t dating anyone at the moment.) The experience felt horribly reminiscent of the time he spent selling war bonds on Broadway, but he reminded himself that he was only performing like a dancing monkey for one day as a favor to Scott.

Steve also took care not to bump into Tony; he seemed to gravitate towards Steve several times, trying to catch his eye, but so far, Steve had succeeded in avoiding him. Tony might not be above causing a scene at a child’s birthday party, but Steve wouldn’t let that happen. Whatever their issues were, they would have to deal with them another time. Steve picked away at the buffet, enjoying a moment to himself, when Maggie clapped her hands together and called out to the guests to get their attention.

“Time for party games!” she cried, earning a mixed response from the partygoers in the form of cheers from the children and groans from the adults. “We’re going to start off with Cassie’s favorite game—”

“Is it glíma?” Thor asked hopefully. “A contest of strength! My brother, Loki, and I used to play as children. I even managed to break his spine once! A perfect game for any little girl’s birthday party.”

“No, we won’t be playing that. Now, or ever.” Maggie shook her head in disbelief before turning back to the other guests. “Okay, the first game of the day will be Hide and Seek!”

“Does everyone have to participate?” asked a reluctant-looking Happy.

“Yes. Grown-ups, kids, and superheroes alike: no exceptions!” Ignoring the murmur of dissent from some, she continued, “Now, before we begin, let me lay some ground rules. Number one: everyone must hide on the property. No hiding out in the street or disappearing into another dimension, or anything. Rule number two: once Cassie finds you, you’re out! You can’t go and find another hiding place. And rule number three: don’t hide anywhere dangerous. We don’t want anyone getting hurt. Now, Cassie is going to count to a hundred, then she will come after you. Are you ready?” She turned to her daughter then and smiled. “Okay honey, off you go.”

Cassie, grinning ear to ear, covered her eyes with the palms of her hands and began to count. “One! Two! Three! Four!”

Steve stood by the buffet table and watched with mild amusement as utter pandemonium ensued. Children and adults alike ran in every direction to find a hiding spot, bumping into each other, squealing and giggling as Cassie stood in the center of the yard, counting.

“You need to play too, Captain,” Maggie reminded him gently, prising the paper dinner plate from his hand and shoving him in the direction of the house. “Get to it!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled.

He scanned the back yard for a suitable hiding spot, but quickly realized that his options were limited: Happy was helping some of the shorter children to join him up one of the leafy maple trees while several other kids dashed for the nearby bushes and flowerbeds.

“Twenty-three!” Cassie cried. “Twenty-four!”

Realizing that he ought to get a move on, Steve jogged towards a doghouse near the back porch with the name ‘Anthony’ painted above the entrance. Peeking inside, he was shocked to find Sam inside crouched on all fours. He looked up at Steve and glared at him.

“Not a damn word about this,” he warned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve smirked.

“Thirty-six! Thirty-seven!”

Out of options in the backyard, Steve ran inside the house in the hopes of finding a suitable place to hide. Entering the kitchen, he saw a door to the far left and decided to check it out. Pulling it open, he came face-to-face with Thor and perhaps a dozen other children squeezed into a pantry.

“Hello, Captain,” Thor greeted him brightly. “Looking for a place to hide?”

Steve was tempted to be sarcastic and say no, and ask Thor if he could hand over the packet of dried spaghetti on the shelf above his head, but he managed to contain himself.

“Got room for one more?” he asked hopefully.

A little girl with pigtails scoffed and pushed her way to the front. “Uh, no. Find your own hiding place.”

Steve was a little taken aback to have the door slammed shut in his face, but he didn’t have time to ponder on it. Moving on from the kitchen, he entered the living room and checked behind the sofa only to be met with more crouching children. The curtains were also occupied, as was under the coffee table and even the ceiling, where Peter hung from the ceiling fan.

“Sixty! Sixty-one!”

Absconding the living room, Steve hurried into the corridor and pulled open the door to the closet beneath the stairs, cursing when he came face to face with Bucky, Antonio, and Luis.

“Language,” Bucky joked.

“Move up, Buck, I’m running out of time,” Steve pleaded, but Bucky shook his head.

“No can do,” he smirked. “You’re on your own this time.”

“Some sidekick you are,” Steve groused as Bucky closed the door on him.

“Seventy-two!”

Becoming increasingly desperate, Steve considered ripping up the floorboards to create a place to hide. Instead, he ran upstairs two steps at a time and pushed open the first door at the top of the landing. Entering the bathroom, he pulled back the shower curtain to find more guests already hiding in there. One of them even asked for his autograph, but running out of both time and patience, he drew the curtain back without answering and hurried back onto the landing.

“Ninety!” she cried. “Ninety-one!”

Steve tried to open the next door, only managing to open it a few inches before someone on the other side pushed it shut again and told him to go away. The next door opened to a linen closet that was impossible for even a small child to hide in, let alone him, and the one after that was locked. Almost out of time and options, he turned to the last door in the house and his last hope. He voiced a silent Hail Mary as he grabbed the door handle and felt a wave of relief when it opened.

“Ready or not, here I come!”

Steve popped his head through the door and was greeted with a room painted a lurid shade of pink with cute animals stenciled on the walls. If it wasn’t already obvious that this was Cassie’s room, the crayon drawings of Scott in his Ant-Man uniform standing side by side with the other Avengers made it abundantly clear whose room this was, and how proud she was of her father.

Someone squealed downstairs and Steve heard Cassie shout ‘Found you!’ closely followed by quick footsteps stomping back and forth through the kitchen: evidently, Cassie was on the prowl and had already found her first party guest. Taking care to close the door behind him as quietly as possible, he crept into the room and weighed up his options. The curtains were made of silk organza, so there was no way he could hide behind them. The child-sized bed made it impossible for Steve to hide under. His only option was the closet. Stepping further into the room, Steve cursed again as he tripped over a miniature train set. Hoping that he hadn’t made too much noise to give away his position, he stealthily hopped over the other toys towards the closet and pulled open the bi-fold doors.

Of all the things that he was expecting to find—clothes, toys, perhaps even children—he never would have dreamed that he’d come face to face with Tony in his Iron Man suit. Yet that is exactly what he found. Tony was all smiles, as always. He didn’t even look surprised to see Steve.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he greeted him. His eyes dragged over Steve’s body. “Love the costume.”

“It’s a uniform!” Steve snapped. He looked over his shoulder again in the hopes of seeing an alternate hiding place that he might have somehow missed. Maybe he could climb out the window and hide out on the roof?

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Tony. “Roof’s a no go; the window’s locked.”

“Damnit.” Steve let out a sigh of resignation. Completely out of options now, he turned back to Tony and nodded to the empty space beside him. “Would you mind?”

Tony made a show of holding out his outstretched arm and welcoming Steve into the closet with a dramatic flourish. “Certainly! I’ll refrain from making any jokes about Captain America hiding in the closet as that would be unbecoming of me.”

Steve drew him a withering look. “If this is what you’re going to be like, I’d rather just get caught now.”

“Sorry, force of habit,” Tony said, not sounding sorry at all. “Come on. It’s surprisingly cozy in here.”

“It’s still bigger than my first apartment,” Steve mused as he sidled into the tiny closet. The only way that they were both able to squeeze into the small space and still be able to slide the doors shut was to stand face to face, chests pressed together. It took a bit of maneuvering, but eventually, they managed to close the door. They stood there like that in silence for a while, listening closely for Cassie, Tony watching Steve who was trying desperately to look anywhere else but at Tony.

“I see Barnes is here,” Tony piped up suddenly.

Steve immediately tensed, worried about what Tony would say next. “Yeah, Scott invited him.”

Tony nodded. “How’s he been keeping?”

“Scott?”

“Barnes, obviously.”

“Oh. Better, actually. Much better,” said Steve honestly. “He just got back from Wakanda. T’Challa and Shuri have helped him out a lot.”

“That’s nice,” Tony mumbled. “I thought they’d have sorted him out with another arm.”

“They did offer,” Steve admitted. “But he turned them down.”

“Interesting.” An awkward silence followed before Tony spoke again, “So...how have you been?”

Steve frowned at Tony. “Since when do you engage in small talk?”

“Since I found myself trapped in the closet with someone who’s been doing their damndest to avoid me all afternoon,” he shot back. “And before you deny it, don’t. It was blatantly obvious what you were doing. There’s absolutely no way that Darryl is more interesting to talk to than I am.”

Steve sighed and closed his eyes. “This is not the time or place for this, Tony.”

“On the contrary, this is the perfect time and place,” he countered. “I just never took you for the type of guy to have a one-night stand.”

“I’m not.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Really? Because I could have sworn that when I woke up the next morning after a rather _exhausting_ night of love-making—”

“Oh, god,” Steve groaned.

“—that your side of the bed was stone cold,” he finished. “Leaving before I had the chance to make us breakfast is entirely your loss. I’ll have you know that I make some mean blueberry pancakes.”

Steve opened his eyes and gave Tony a surprised look. “You’d have made me breakfast?”

Tony opened his mouth to answer, but just then, Steve heard the soft patter of footsteps on the landing, so he instinctively put his hand over Tony’s mouth to silence him. Tony’s eyes momentarily widened with surprise, but Steve felt Tony’s lips twist into a smile beneath his palm. Steve was glad that it was dark in the closet so that Tony wouldn’t see the blush creeping up his cheeks. This was surprisingly similar to how they had fallen into bed for the first time a few days back: Steve had gone to Stark Tower to talk things out with Tony, hoping that they could come to some sort of truce and get the Avengers back together. Tony, however, had seemed more interested in getting a rise out of Steve than talking through their problems. After teasing him mercilessly about what an insufferable do-gooder he was, Steve had been so desperate for Tony just to stop talking that he’d shut him up by crushing their lips together. It had been a moment of weakness on Steve’s part, but what had really taken him by surprise was, rather than pushing him away, Tony had pulled him closer. When the sound of footsteps faded, Steve’s hand slid from Tony’s mouth.

“What surprises you more?” Tony whispered. “That I’m a billionaire playboy genius philanthropist who can also cook, or that I wouldn’t have kicked you out of my bed the next morning?”

“Both,” Steve admitted. “But like you said, you’re the playboy: I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

Tony’s expression softened. “If I had wanted you to leave, I would have said so.”

Steve shrugged and averted his gaze. “I figured once you woke up the next morning, you’d regret what we did.”

“I didn’t. I still don’t,” Tony replied firmly. “Do _you_ regret it?” Steve shook his head. “If that’s the case, why have you been avoiding me?” When Steve didn’t answer, he asked, “Is it Barnes?”

Steve frowned. “No, it’s nothing to do with him.”

“Really?” asked Tony skeptically. “I know how close you two are. I mean, if there’s some history there that I should know about…”

Steve chuckled and bowed his head. “No, nothing like that. I mean, I’ve always had a soft spot for brunettes, but Bucky’s always been a lady’s man.”

“So was I,” Tony countered. “Or so everyone likes to think.”

“Yeah, everyone always thought that about me, too. I was just never inclined to correct them.”

Tony nodded in understanding. “I get it. God forbid the symbol of American freedom and liberty also happens to be gay. Or bi. Or are you pan? Whatever, I’m not a big believer in labels.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. He was beginning to remember why it had been so easy to fall into bed with Tony. His smile faltered when he admitted, “I shouldn’t have run out on you like that. It’s just...it's been five years since I came out of the ice and some habits are difficult to break.”

“Humping and dumping fanboys?” Tony teased. “Which, let’s be clear, I’m not. I have my own fanbase, thanks very much.”

“More like feeling like you need to get the hell out of some place before the cops kick down the door and raid the joint,” he said wryly. “That’s not the sort of behavior people expect from Captain America.”

The dual meaning of those words weren’t lost on Tony. Steve had spent so long living as Captain America, he had trouble recalling when he had last been Steve Rogers. His and Tony’s lives were vastly different in many respects, but in this one thing Tony could relate better than most to how Steve felt: it was difficult to take off the suit at the end of the day. If Steve were being perfectly honest with himself, the last time he’d really felt like himself had been wrapped in Tony’s arms. It had been a thrilling feeling, to be so open and vulnerable with another person, but it had frightened him, too. Captain America wasn’t afraid of anything. Captain America was not vulnerable—he was infallible.

The fear of failing to live up to the moniker was what had sent him running out of Stark Tower as fast as his legs could carry him, and then he’d been too ashamed of what he had done to call Tony and apologize. The fact that Tony was being so understanding about the whole thing just made Steve feel that much worse.

“I don’t give a shit about Captain America,” said Tony. “The guy that came to my apartment a few nights back was infinitely more interesting.”

Steve looked at Tony with a shameful expression. “I still feel bad about what I did.”

“And so you should. It means that you’ll just have to work your tail off to make it up to me.”

Tony’s suggestion that Steve hadn’t completely screwed things up between them gave him a flicker of hope to cling on to. “I know things are different nowadays—better than they were in my day—but you have to understand, this isn’t easy for me. I still struggle to be myself most of the time, even in private.”

“I understand that. But I’m more than happy to spend the time coaxing the real Steve Rogers out of you.” Tony leaned forward slightly and purred, “And based on what I’ve already seen of you in private, I like what I see.”

Steve’s eyes widened when he felt Tony’s hand slide up his thigh. “Tony…”

“Steve...” he teased. He leaned in for a kiss but Steve drew back.

“We can’t do this here.”

“Why not?” Tony pouted.

“We’re in a child’s closet!” he hissed.

Tony rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to do anything more than a PG-13 rating, Captain Butter-Wouldn’t-Melt.”

“It still feels inappropriate.”

“Isn’t that half the fun?” he joked. “Come on, embrace your Dark Side. Live a little and be Captain UnAmerican for a minute.”

Steve let out a weary sigh, but he didn’t dispute what Tony said, either—it did feel good to be a little bit naughty sometimes. And he was desperate to kiss Tony again. He didn’t want to wait until the party had finished—he wanted him now, in the darkened closet where there were no prying eyes to see.

“Just a kiss,” he warned.

Tony smiled like a Cheshire cat and leaned forward to claim his prize, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Letting out a contented sigh, Steve cupped Tony’s face in his hands before running his fingers through his hair, silently chastising himself for running away from Tony in the first place. Well, he wouldn’t be making that same mistake twice. Heck no. This was too good to give up willingly.

“Did you like the fireworks display that I made?” Tony murmured against Steve’s lips as they continued to kiss.

Steve hummed. “Hmm, flashy and over the top, just like you.”

“They were for you,” Tony whispered, nuzzling Steve’s neck. “I was trying to get your attention.”

Surprisingly touched at the gesture, Steve stroked Tony’s hair and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “Well, it worked.” He let out a sharp gasp as he felt Tony’s hand slide across his hip to grab his ass. “I thought we were keeping things PG-13!”

“Netflix PG-13,” Tony clarified, stealing Steve’s breath away with another searing kiss. Steve rolled his eyes but he didn’t argue. _Screw it,_ he thought to himself. It wasn’t like anybody was going to catch them.

Just as that thought had entered Steve’s mind, the closet door flew open. Steve and Tony broke the kiss and turned to see who had interrupted their little tryst, coming face to face (well, face to midriff giving her diminutive stature) with Cassie Lang.

“Found you!” she declared gleefully.

“That you did,” Steve was more than a little disappointed that his and Tony’s tryst was so short lived, but Tony had other ideas.

“Tell you what,” he began, addressing Cassie. “How about you close the door and forget that you saw us?”

“Why would I do that?” she asked.

“Because in return, I’ll give you whatever you want for your birthday,” he offered.

Cassie’s eyes lit up. “Anything?”

“Anything.”

Cassie worried her lip for a moment before chancing her luck and asking, “What if I want a pony?”

“Deal.” Tony stuck out his hand to the little girl. “I’ll even throw in stables and some farmland. How’s that sound?”

Cassie positively beamed at Tony as she took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “You really want to win this game, huh?”

“Oh yeah, I’m ultra-competitive. Steve here’s even worse, you do _not_ want to play pin the tail on the donkey with this guy.” Cassie giggled and closed the closet doors again.

“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you!” Tony called after her.

“You too!” she cried, sprinting back out of the room, leaving the men alone again.

“A pony?” said Steve disapprovingly.

“For seven minutes in heaven with you? It’s worth every penny.”

“I hope you last longer than seven minutes,” Steve joked.

“Is that a challenge?”

Steve grinned. “Maybe.”

Tony grabbed Steve’s hips and pulled him close. “You’re on.”

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to my betas,[ OllieMaye ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OllieMaye/pseuds/OllieMaye),[ BrandonStrayne ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrandonStrayne/pseuds/BrandonStrayne) and [ Drarryismymuse (Hatchersn) ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatchersn) for helping me with my atrocious SPaG and Yank-picking the hell out of this!


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